The OPENED Conversation Framework
What a manager actually says, in what order, when one of the 4 signals shows up. Practised live in Module 3 of the 3-hour course.
Why a framework (not a script)
Scripts make managers sound robotic and create legal/HR risk when read verbatim. A 6-step framework lets the manager hold the shape of the conversation while staying themselves. Each letter = one move.
OPENED
O — OBSERVE without diagnosing
Open with the specific behaviour you've seen, not the conclusion you've drawn.
✅ "In the last three 1:1s I've noticed you've been quieter than usual, and your camera's been off." ❌ "You seem really stressed / depressed / burnt out."
Rule: Name what you'd see on a recording. Never name a clinical state.
P — PERMISSION to talk
Hand the agenda to them. They may not be ready — that's data too.
✅ "I might be reading it wrong, but I'd rather check than not — is now an OK time to talk about how you're doing?"
If they say no: "That's fine. Can we put 20 minutes in for [specific day] instead? I won't drop it."
E — EXPLORE with open questions
Ask 2–3 open questions. Then stop talking. The pause is the work.
Useful prompts:
- "What's been getting in the way of feeling like yourself at work?"
- "If I could change one thing about your week, what would help most?"
- "How's your sleep / energy been outside work?" (NOT "are you depressed?")
Manager move: Count to 5 in your head after each answer. Most managers fill the silence and lose the depth.
N — NORMALISE without minimising
Validate the difficulty without making it small.
✅ "What you're describing sounds genuinely hard. You're not the first person on this team to feel this — and I'd rather know now." ❌ "Oh, everyone feels like that sometimes." (minimises) ❌ "Wow, that's a lot." (centres your reaction, not theirs)
E — ENABLE one practical move
Offer ONE adjustment within your gift. Don't promise five things you can't deliver.
Examples by signal:
- Energy drift: "Let's protect Friday afternoons as no-meeting time for the next month."
- Scope shrink: "I'll take the [X] piece back — let's not add anything until you tell me you've got room."
- Recovery gap: "Block your next leave now, in this conversation. I'll defend it."
- Relational fade: "Walking 1:1s for the next month. And I'll loop [trusted peer] into the project so you've got a thinking partner."
Rule: One change, named today, with a date. Not a list.
D — DIRECT to the right next step
Signpost professionally. You are not their therapist; you are their manager.
Three options to know cold:
- EAP — the company helpline. "Free, confidential, 24/7."
- GP — their own doctor. "For anything physical, sleep, or longer-term."
- MEM coach — if your organisation has a programme. "Not clinical, but practical weekly support."
Plus the crisis line, in case: Samaritans 116 123 (free, 24/7).
Closing line: "I'll check in next [day]. You don't have to tell me what you decide — but I want you to know I'm here."
What OPENED is NOT for
- A performance conversation about underperformance. (Use your normal performance framework.)
- A grievance or harassment disclosure. (Stop. Follow HR's formal route.)
- A crisis / suicidal disclosure. (Stop. Call EAP or 116 123 with them.)
Live-practice scenarios (8)
Each scenario gives the cohort a direct report's situation. Pairs run the OPENED framework live, then debrief. Facilitator notes track which steps the manager skipped (the most-skipped move is N — Normalise).
- Aisha, 32, marketing analyst. New manager, second baby, Signal 1 (energy) + Signal 3 (recovery) for 4 weeks. Hasn't asked for anything.
- James, 47, senior engineer. Long tenure. Signal 2 (scope shrink) + Signal 4 (relational fade) since a project he led got cancelled.
- Priya, 29, account exec. Top performer. Signal 3 only — but it's been 6 weeks and she's burning out competently.
- Tom, 24, graduate. First job. Signal 4 dominant. Quiet on camera, no peer ties forming.
- Sarah, 51, ops manager. Signal 1 + Signal 3. Mentions sleep. Possibly menopause-related — manager must NOT diagnose.
- Marcus, 38, sales. Signal 2 — was 110% of target, now 95% and won't take stretch leads. Recently divorced.
- Lin, 35, designer. All four signals, mild. Has been on the team 8 years. Doesn't trust HR.
- Daniel, 45, finance. Signal 4 + comments imply hopelessness. This scenario teaches escalation, not OPENED.
Cards
A6 pocket-card prints OPENED on side 1, the three signpost lines + 116 123 on side 2.
