Lesson 2 of 8
Building offers people actually understand
Learning objectives
- Write a one-line offer that a stranger can repeat back
- Strip the jargon out of your packages
- Choose a price anchor that fits your market
- Decide what's in your offer — and what is firmly out
The one-line offer test
If a stranger in a coffee shop can't repeat your offer back to you in one sentence, the offer is too complex. Use this shape: I help [who] get [outcome] in [time], without [thing they fear].
Example: 'I help busy mums in Manchester get strong and lean in 12 weeks, without giving up family meals.' Clear. Specific. Sellable.
Cut the jargon
Words like 'transformation', 'holistic', 'mindset shift' and 'optimisation' mean nothing to a new client. Replace them with concrete outcomes: drop a dress size, run 5k without stopping, lift your bodyweight, sleep through the night, fit into your wedding suit.
Anchor the price
Price the headline offer once and stick to it for 90 days. Show the price publicly on your profile if you can — hidden prices kill enquiries from the right clients and attract the wrong ones.
Use a clear inclusions list and one short 'not for you if…' line. Saying who it isn't for makes it more attractive to those it is for.
Founder insight — Derrick Twum
Every 'I'm not getting enquiries' problem we audit ends in the same place: the offer was vague. The fix is almost always one rewrite, not more content.
Key takeaway
Clarity sells. Rewrite your offer until a stranger could repeat it.
Reflection questions
- 1Can a non-PT friend repeat your offer back to you?
- 2Which jargon word are you hiding behind?
- 3Is your price visible on your MEM coach profile?
- 4Who is this offer firmly NOT for?
Action task
Rewrite your headline offer using the I help / get / in / without shape. Update it on your MEM coach profile today.
Worksheet
Work through these prompts. Answers save to this device.
Answers are saved to this device only. Cloud sync coming soon.